Ugly Sweater Vests...

I would love to know who actually wears some of the booty-ass sweater vests I've come across while searching for a good sweater vest pattern. I wanted to knit myself a really cute black sweater vest because, though I've seen lots of them around recently, for some reason designers have taken to attaching a faux button-up shirt underneath the vest like so:



Note--this is an actual vest I saw on eBay. It's not one in a real store, though if it was, I would probably buy it. I'd also get one in plain black. I don't buy clothes on eBay because I have this thing about buying clothes I haven't tried on, but I digress. Everywhere I go I see sweater vests with a "layer-look" faux shirt attached. Who came up with this brillian idea I would love to know (so I can go and bitch-slap them in the mouth).

But when I look for cute vest patterns, all I come up with are fugly things that I wouldn't even put your granny in:


Do not attempt to adjust your screen. Those are actual strawberries knitted into the vest. I'm not kidding. Fugly. Really, really fugly. I don't know anyone who would actually wear this. Do you?

So attention all knitters--anyone who has a cute vest pattern, please hook a sista up!